A small step.

“An Electronics and Instrumentation engineer possessing core knowledge and experience in Instrumentation/Control and looking forward to work in a challenging milieu as a part of a resourceful team, designing and developing cutting-edge systems and innovative products”.  Each word of the first paragraph shouted “BULLSHIT!” on my face. “Will do anything sitting in front of the computer for a job with a higher pay scale , onsite opportunity and closer to home location” sounded more reasonable.This is my second resume and having sat through enough placement training sessions and downloaded enough mock resumes, I am now pretty sure as to what I have to send for each of the companies I am applying for. The only question is whether I want to. The clock strikes one and the only progress I have observed so far is that of the ant that started from my shoe rack and had covered nearly 5 metres and has reached the cupboard. I glance at my older resume that says CGPA 8.5. In ARIAL,size 9 font,somewhere under Hobbies, it says blogging.

I open my blogger’s homepage to see “Updated 6 months ago” staring back at me. There was a time when I visited it every waking hour. 8 of those articles have been  published in my morning paper. Reading them is nostalgic. A drop of tear on my touchpad makes me shut my laptop and I lie on it eyes closed, its warmth the only comfort in this cold night.

Twelfth summer vacation. With a 92% in PCM and an engineering entrance exam queued up for every Sunday, I hardly had time to think. Before I finished up the final one, one by one the results are out and I found myself being woken up as early as 8 in the morning to listen in as they discuss with relatives and clients in MNCs in Bangalore and Chennai to enquire what course and college I should go for. A small voice inside asked ‘Why Engineering? Why not Journalism or MassCommunication or something different?” I turned down its volume when my friends started forwarding messages that showed the placement percentage of each college and what course they are applying for. Computer Science unanimously seemed the top choice but my brain strongly put up a 50K ohm resistance reminding me my pathetic marks in Cse. When my inner voice finally plucked some courage again to ask my parents, they said journalism is not a girl thing and I wouldn’t be able to travel frequenty or survive in it. The sanitary pad ads showing women boldly taking up travel was not telecasted yet then.I muted my inner voice and happily went into engineering.

4 years of engineering flew faster than expected. I had my share of engineering with late night assignments, the last min study before the exams with mugs of coffee,the marana mokkais, the rocking excursions with a visit to an industry for namesake called IV s, the fucked up final year project. I suddenly found myself experiencing the placement fever as several others. With my news feed full of statuses that said "Got placed in TCS/CTS/Wipro/Infosys" with 100+ likes in each, I couldn’t wait to update mine with one of those.3 months into it got me a smartphone and enough pocket money to do some actual shopping in those malls.I was too busy catching up every movie screened in Sathyam on weekends and keeping tabs on the discounts available in the various brands to even give a thought about journalism.

A whatsapp beep wakes me from my thoughts and I remember my incomplete resume and open my laptop again.  An unread mail in my mailbox shows high priority. Opening it I read the defect that needs to be fixed by 9AM in the morning before the customers leave for the day.I imagine the endless lines of C code with if ,else ,for and while conditions. These form a major part of my C vocabulary which has become more important than my English vocabulary these past 3 years.I imagine the day ahead..Waking up at 5:00AM to be in time to see the security guard change shifts ,coffee, fix the defect just in time before the customer call, a hurried lunch, a scrum,coffee, a delivery to be completed by the end of day (Its IST atleast this time), more coffee, more running around and out just in time to see the moon at 45 degrees…A similar day the day after.. the week after..punctuated by occasional treats and feedback meetings…

I wake up from my reverie to see a post from PositiveOutlooksBlog that says”Sometimes, we are so attached to our way of life, that we turn down a wonderful opportunity simply because we don’t know what to do with it”. I open a new word document and start typing my take on the Arnab Goswami-Rahul Gandhi interview. Maybe it will get published.Maybe someday I will get a column for myself. Maybe.Or Maybe it wont happen. But its still a step towards what I want. Just a small step.In the journey of thousand miles to achieve what I want.