A Tearful Goodbye

The summer holidays were just a week away. I knew that you’d be here soon. Under the pretext of helping out my mom,  I started visiting places you frequent – the malls, the super markets, those small shops beside my home… I knew that you will be there soon. It was almost a fortnight later, when I saw you finally though. When I introduced you to my mom, she thought you were not good enough, but I managed to convince her to let me bring you home.  You changed for the good and she accepted you. Somedays, you were just rotten to the core .Even I  couldn’t  stand you then. But otherwise,you were my elixir from paradise.  Until that fateful day.

As usual, we were sitting at the table after lunch.” Good gracious! Act like a lady! Where are your manners?”, my mom screamed at the top of her voice. I can’t help it. With you, I become a 3 year old. My retort of “Who cares?” didn’t go down well and I was prohibited from seeing you again until I behaved like a lady! I knew she meant it this time and went to others for consolation. But they were not you. They were  all mere impersonators.

 You started appearing  at my neighbours’ place . Dressed in shades of  yellow, you sure were hard to miss. I used to watched you from the corner of my eye. It was just another summer afternoon. The sun was sweltering on my back as I worked on my vegetable patch. And there you were, leaning majestically against the brick wall. Calling me to you. There was no one around. I picked up some courage and slowly walked towards the wall. Inching closer, I breathed in your scent. That unique scent, that I can pick out anywhere. “God! How much I missed it!” Just then, my mom s face loomed at the window and she called me in. I knew that you will be gone by the time I came out again. With one last longing look, I left you.

The holidays came to an end. I hunted for you everywhere and found you in the shadows at the end of my street. I realized that time was running out. I pulled out my savings and smuggled you inside the house. I shut myself inside my room and looked at you lovingly. One last time.

 I let the sticky juices flow down my arms as I bit into the juicy yellow pulp. I said to myself- “Screw manners! This is how mangoes are meant to be eaten” . As I licked my lips in satisfaction, a small tear left my eye, knowing that it will be months before I see you again.

In search of the Incredible - What will you do when you can see without being seen?

It happened on our excursion to Kerala. We were sipping toddy in the coconut grove playing “ Truth or Dare “ – the game that’s best played when drunk. The dark clouds that we were intentionally ignoring till then broke out to a heavy downpour. We ran towards our resort. No one saw my mobile slip from my pocket. The thunderstorm raged for 2 hrs. I came back with Latika to look for my phone praying that it was water resistant as they claimed and that it had survived the thunderstorm. The coconut tree under which we had been sitting had been struck by lightning and my phone was nowhere near. Just when I was about to give up, Lathika found it with the display ‘battery low’.

Lathika ‘s my best friend and roommate. We knew each other’s worst secrets and stood for each other. Lathika’s the feminist, the college adored.  When she believed in a cause, nothing on earth could shake her. She took classes for the poor kids in the neighbourhood  on  weekends. Her only weakness was that she believed people easily. She couldn’t judge a person even when they showed her their worst. A week later, back in Delhi, we were getting ready to go out for our late night “Vada Pav”, when it happened. I turned on the flashlight on my phone and waited for Lathika to show up.  She came out and started looking around calling my name. When I asked her to shut up shouting at the top of her voice as I was right beside, a look of horror came on her face. She turned to sped back, but I turned off my flashlight , held her hand and asked what had happened. She stammered and I could vaguely make out that she couldn’t see me anywhere earlier. Attributing it to her poor sight, we started walking. When the flashlight was turned on again, she screamed. She said she couldn’t see me. Now even I couldn’t see my legs. After a few  minutes, we figured out that whenever I turned my flashlight on, it made me invisible.

Running back to room, we began analyzing my phone s weird behavior. We concluded that probably when the lightening struck, the phone had absorbed its power and that when the flashlight was used, this could be utilized. The lightning is so blinding that its beginning can never be seen when it strikes. Also, looking at it, one can never see anything else around for a while.Since it used the lightning’s power, the souce, the phone couldn’t be seen and the wavelength transmitted is too high for normal eyesight to observe.  Also, when switched on, it makes only living beings within its 1m radius invisible because of the thermal radiation emitted and anything covered in white- White being the colour that reflects light, refects it off the surface and hence even other objects are made invisible. We decided to keep it our little secret. Soon, we were having fun.

We would conduct magic shows for the kids she taught, sit quietly and listen when the gossip gang gets together, bunk classes  after giving attendance (leaving the teacher confused whether we were actually there)… We were up to date on the latest gossips and everyone’s dirtiest secrets and considered ourselves to be the coolest. Lathika, meanwhile ran for the college Student body Presidential Elections. The tide was in her favour. One of the major opposition was Rohan Sinha, the minister’s son. Everyone secretly hated him for harassing and bullying other fellow students but no one had the guts to stand up to him.

We were all preparing in the eleventh minute for our final exams the next day, when Lathika got a message from Rohan to meet him to discuss regarding the election manifesto. Having slept right on my book,I woke up to see terror stricken Rashi s face. She stammered that Lathika had been  raped a few hrs ago and was now lying unconscious in hospital. I rushed to her only to find that she had been beaten and had bruises all over her body and that the police had no clue regarding the culprits responsible. I searched for her phone to use it as an evidence against Rohan only to find that it had been smashed into smithereens.  I was overcome with rage.

Dressed  in  a white salwar, I used my phone s invisibility mode and entered Rohan’s room. He was boasting to his gang that he had taken care of Lathika and that now his victory will be unanimous. After a few drinks, his friends left leaving him alone in his single room. Using the Mimic App that imitates a person ‘s voice whatever be the text typed, I called out his name in Lathika’s voice. He floundered around the room trying to get sober.  I used the knife on his table  to give him a cut in his arms to prove he wasn’t dreaming. I told him that I’ll make him bleed to death. He ran out like a maniac and went to the police who were investigating below and confessed to the rape and submitted his mobile as evidence. I saw them take him away from Lathika’s hospital window. Her blood pressure was slowly returning to  normal and the doctor assured us that she will be alright soon.

When Lathika bounced back, she was stronger than before. We both knew that things will never be the same. We no longer used the mobile for silly pranks or for listening in on gossips. We knew that using it, we can use it to get evidence where justice was pending, to disguise ourselves and follow guys who lure naïve girls and teach them a lesson, to restore faith by gifting money anonymously to the poor in the hospitals.. I now understood there was a reason,  it was my phone that got the superpower that day.

A Small Adventure in South Goa

Looking up for cheap, yet cosy and comfortable resorts in MakeMyTrip.com,landed us with a resort in South Goa, a few kms from Margao. While the only image in my mind of Goa had been that of the beaches , I was in for a pleasant surprise. Goa gave us the much required change from the polluted air of the city. The lush green everywhere , the scattered  red roofed cottages, each cottage different in its own style, each  blending with the nature like it belonged there , the age old churches..like a place untouched  by noise and other pollution, that we call a by product of urbanization. 

Renting a rickety scooty – the only one available near the resort then – my husband and I made our way towards Palolem  beach that was 25 km away. There were hardly any petrol bunks to be seen and we were asked to buy petrol  from a General Stores that looked hardly any different than a small and messy storeroom. Taking the only road, we started off with a full tank. In a few kms, there were no more settlements to be seen. With only the lush green everywhere, interspersed with a few barren lands , few monkeys jumping in the low branches,  the road blocked in a few places by herds of untethered cattle.. it was similar to a ride through a jungle. With the sun hiding behind the clouds and the occasional drizzle, it was just perfect. 

Due to the onset of monsoon, the usual calm blue sea was instead  brown and the waves lashed out angrily at the shores. The lifeguards shooed us away to safety taking shelter from the rain themselves.  Not too eager to get back, we set off for the Agonda beach 10 kms away using Google Maps. It was around noon and soon we were  brought back to reality by the rumbling of the stomach and nature’s call. Being off season, almost all the restaurants were closed and we were left with no option but to head back to our resort 16 kms away. 

The long route that was refreshing was now un-ending and tiring. Almost halfway back, right in the middle of nowhere, is when we noticed the pointer moving towards “E”. With not a soul in sight, with not even a bird in flight, the whole place was suddenly eerie and scary. It’s weird how the brain works. That same path that was perceived romantic suddenly felt eerie. We sped fast to reach before the fuel ran out, only to end up in a junction that we had never seen before. Only a small dilapidated liquor shop stood there. Inside were a few men hunched over cards.  On enquiring  the elderly  man outside hoping he was sober, we returned back in the same direction as he suggested.

Driving back in the direction pointed for another 4 kms, we came upon a barren land with no vegetation. A lone man in torn shirts and trousers was digging right beside the road. Adrenaline and fear rushed in. The hunger and the need to heed to nature’s call long gone. There was no road to where the Arrow in the  Google Maps pointed. The only option was to head back and take the longer 16 km route the Map showed. Cursing under the breath, we took a reverse and raced. I wondered what would happen if  we broke down somewhere with no settlements nearby. Were the people friendly?  Would  take advantage of lost stranded tourists? A thousand questions came into my mind. When we are scared, the mind conjures the worst imagination and brings every news ever read that were shelved deep inside the subconscious. Every news on women being raped flashed across in few  seconds. The occasional creaking from the vehicle didn’t help things either.

Just when the fuel pointer showed a steady E, and it was running on reserve, we came across a few cottages. There we were pointed to a hair saloon in Bali from where we bought petrol! Breathing out a huge sigh of relief, we took the longer route ensuring we always had some people in sight and reached our resort.Muttering a heartfelt thanks towards the heavens, we attacked our lunch.

Love at First Sight!

It was love at first sight
Though I cant remember the day we met.
I learnt that u were the happiest
That was one moment you’ll never forget.

Together we have been through a lot,
As for every silly issue, we ‘ve fought.
You are the patient one
Kind and caring too deserve a mention.

To you, I am the best
Even when you’ve seen my worst.
Many a times, I ve let you down
But undying faith in me, you’ve shown.

There were many a stormy night
When you just hugged me tight
There were many pitfalls and failures
When you silently wiped my tears.

A kiss on the forehead
When on your lap, I rest my head.
Through  my hair, you run your fingers
These are moments that forever lingers.

I was surprised when people said
That love at first sight never lasted
Cos, though outside it may not be frequently shown,
Mom, I ‘ve loved you since the day I was born.

Gone are the Golden days..

Distant echoes of mindless laughter
As at my monitor, I continue to stare
The endless lines of code
Drives me into a wide eyed sleep mode.

Walking down the memory lane,
Recollecting many a random John and Jane
Only a few I care to bother
And how they are, I ponder.

Separated by distance and time zone,
And finally left all alone.
With no shoulder to weep on
We pick ourself up and move on.

The crazy nightouts are long gone
Though the moon shines on..
The wind has passed over
Never to return to the garden ever..

Long hours of chats
Replaced by  “hi – bye”  texts..
Well memorized phone numbers
Needs to  be searched through contacts.

I resolve to call and catch up
With the usual startup – Wats up!
I wake up from my trance
And throw the clock at the bottom corner a glance.

Excuses battle out inside my head
Tomorrow I’ll call up, I decide
I hear a small voice say,
“Tomorrow’s gonna be just another similar day”.

The Vacation

When you are stressed out, confused or probably just wondering “What the hell am I doing with my life?”, the typical advice from most people will be to take a break and go on a vacation. Following this age-old advice, I embarked on my version of “eat , pray , love” journey to find myself.  Here are a few snippets from my travelogue.

 Wedged in the middle seat with a snoring lady on one side and a total stranger on the other in a low budget aircraft with 3 hrs jouney ahead wasn’t that appealing in the beginning. The stranger soon exchanged with his son and having nothing to do, I started talking to the kid. I took out my usual questionnaire of “What do you want to be ? …What do you like?.. blah blah”. But I was just not prepared for his answers. The boy being an ardent devotee of Lord Vishnu had his fb nickname as ‘”Pranshu “. His aim was to become the Prime Minister of India and before that he wanted to make India pollution free. Apparently, he never let his parents use polythene covers at home .. My hands quietly pushed the sandwich wrapper deeper inside the bag.. Having a few degrees in hand and considering myself  knowledgeable enough to talk about global warming ,pollution and any environment issue, I started wondering what I had actually learnt. Here was a 10 year old who  was actually implementing the little that he had learnt in everyday life!He did leave me speechless for a minute there!

I went to give a shot at basketball  and to burn off a few calories from the butter aloo paratha, with my younger cousin . We were soon joined by a friend of hers and we invented a game with various levels to see who can shoot hoops better. With the beginners luck, I was doing well for a while until I became tired and began shooting aimlessly in my turn and just passing it on. The kid had advanced 2 levels ahead of me and I had already given up hope and I let out a dramatic sigh and was about to march towards the wooden chair to slump on it and watch the remainder of the game a spectator. Just then, the kid said” Stay positive and concentrate na. You were doing well. Why are you giving up so soon?” The kids words stayed with me for a long time after the game and made me wonder whether as we grow old, we just too many obstacles and tell ourselves that we are too old or too tired or not good enough to follow our dreams and reach our goal.

The trip to Manikaran was totally worth braving the cold and the scary curves in the mountains. Hot springs are found everywhere right beside the ice cold beas. The hot springs inside the Gurudwara are used for preparing food for the Annadhanam served there. While we were trying to cook rice by lowering in rice in cloth pockets inside these springs, the people who were responsible for taking the cooked food inside turned up. Taking away two pots of Dal, they warmly invited us to join them for  the meal. The phrases “ warmth in the eyes”  and “warm hospitality”  shown by strangers suddenly made sense in the minus 5 degree environment.

Whether it was the temples we visited or the strangers we met or just the pure environment , I felt a difference. No, I didn’t find out overnight what I wanted to do in life. But then, the vacation made me realize that there is life outside the four walled AC room and the Acer laptop that I spend more time with every day. It made me look back and wonder when it was that I lost all the lessons learnt as a kid and started calling myself a proud member of the adult society only to pollute the country and become self obsessed.

The age-old advice works .And I would repeat the same. When you are just out of a love failure or facing a tough time in your job or stressed out by problems in a family, “Take a break and go on a vacation”. You might not find your knight in shining armour waiting for you in the end of it with open arms or a sudden solution to every issue in your life, but you will realize that there is life out there and when you meet different people , you start seeing your problems from a different perspective. So go on and take a vacation!

The Turbulence

                 Sitting alone in a low-budget airline late in the evening with more than an hour of travel ahead gives way too much time to retrospect, introspect and n other things..In short, once you are done admiring the cute stewards ( well.. these days the number of stewards equal the number of stewardess !) and have asked for water more than once, you are just stuck with what goes on inside your head. Having gone through a similar experience just a day ago, I had  picked up a book at the bookstore in the airport. One glance at the prices on the in flight menu made me realize that the neatly packed non – veg meals are gonna remain only  a visual treat and nothing more. To distract myself from the food carrier, I immersed myself in my book- “A 3^rd serving of the chicken soup for the soul”. I had hardly completed a few  heart-touching stories  when I felt something constricting in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. Closing the book, I looked out the window. The endless dark clouds hiding the city lights underneath didn’t help to lift my spirits. One thought led to another and I soon  found myself recollecting every failure, every gloomy thought possible and worrying about what I wanted to do in future.

                    I was lost in my own world when I first felt it. A sudden jerk. The plane was no longer flying smoothly. It felt like tribals were banging the plane from all sides( I do watch too many English movies!).Like a small ferry being tossed by rough waves at sea.The seat belt sign was turned ON and the captain announced that we have hit a turbulence and asked us to remain in our seats with the seatbelt on. Every news ever read on plane crashes that were stacked in some corner of my memory were suddenly thrown  into the limelight and before I could do anything, I found myself recollecting vividly, not just the news, but every Hollywood movie and book I have read about plane crashes.  The expressions on the faces of the cabin crew didn’t  soothe me either.In fact , they just aggravated my fears. Sleeping through it was not even an option.

                     I closed my eyes only to remember everyone whom I ever cared for.When something that we want with all our heart , something that has occupied every thought, something that we prayed for every single day, doesn’t happen, we lose faith in God. It can be a goal that we worked very hard for but  failed to achieve or it can be someone who has left us forever or anything closer to the heart! We say that we have just lost faith and the frequent visits to temples almost come to  null. But then, when we are totally lost, we regain our faith in less than a second and we pray for God’s help to get us through. The ramming continued and as the altitude dropped down, my thoughts travelled faster than the airplane and I found myself thinking whether I have lived my life to the fullest and whether I had any left that I badly wanted to do. I tried to console myself that I have done everything I ever wanted.A small voice inside screamed “ NOOOO! NOT YET!! I want to be a writer. I want to do something for the lesser priviledged children.” . I closed my eyes and started fervently praying to God  promising a hundred things.

                        A few minutes later, I opened  my eyes to realise that the flight was smooth again. The pilot announced the landing and I opened my eyes. Thousands of twinkling lights seemed to welcome us. There were no trace of clouds and I found myself wondering whether we had actually hit a turbulence or whether I had imagined it all. Walking out the airport, I realized that, perhaps, deep inside I always new what I wanted, but it took a turbulence to jerk it out.